


Ranboo gets actually, really adopted

by King_Mars



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: (and so am I), :), Cute :), Family Dynamics, Fluff, I love them all, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), YEAH I SAID IT, autistic ranboo, he’s autistic, ranboo gets adopted, ranboo moves in, self indulgent, this is all fluff, uhhh, yknow what?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:28:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29081652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/King_Mars/pseuds/King_Mars
Summary: Phil finds out that Ranboo’s technically still a child, and his parental instincts step in.orThis will be the most self-indulgent thing I’ve ever written
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Ranboo & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), all platonic folks
Comments: 18
Kudos: 663





	Ranboo gets actually, really adopted

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t love how this turned out, it took too long, but uh. here it is. Starting writing it because my family was being shitty, finished writing it when my family was being shitty, cheers, enjoy the most fluffy shit i’ve ever written

Phil tapped Ranboo gently on the shoulder. It was probably the nicest way that anyone had ever gotten his attention-he zoned out fairly regularly, and people seemed to like being assholes about it. Phil was nice, though. 

“Hm? Sorry.” Ranboo pulled out of his daze, looking at Phil-not in the eyes. Never in the eyes. For this moment, he decided on the older man’s hair. It was nice hair! He had a small braid in it, off to the side, matching one that Tommy had and the long, bright pink one that Techno had. Ranboo wasn’t sure, as he’d never met the man alive and it was hard to tell in the spectral form, but he guessed that Wilbur had a small braid too.

“It’s okay! I was just wondering when your birthday was, mate.” Phil gave a kind smile.

“Oh, uh, I dunno! I forgot it a while ago. Sorry.” Ranboo shrugged, pointedly choosing not to think too hard about that.

“Ah, alright. I was simply curious. Do you know how old you are?”

“Yeah, sixteen.”

The immediate expression change wasn’t lost on Ranboo, though Phil tried to hide it.

“You’re sixteen?” He asked, quietly, astounded.

“That makes four children on this godforsaken world.” Techno commented with a laugh. Phil didn’t laugh along like he usually did.

“Yeah, I uh-how old did you think I was?” Ranboo questioned with a small, nervous chuckle.

“Nineteen, at least.” Phil answered.

“I mean. I guess the height could confuse you but I’m-I’m like, 95% sure that I’m sixteen.” Ranboo looked around, slightly confused by the silence and weird reaction. Phil and Techno seemed to be having a conversation purely through eye-contact. That wasn’t something Ranboo knew much about.

“Sorry, mate-“ Phil seemed to notice Ranboo’s nervousness, “I just assumed you were older.”

“It’s alright! I actually just-I actually just realized i have some stuff to organize. I’ll see you guys later.” And suddenly Ranboo stood up, walking out of the cottage and towards his shack nearby.

The silence was palpable, until Techno piped up.

“Phil-“

“He’s _sixteen,_ Techno!”

“You can’t adopt every sad child you come across!” 

“Why not? That’s how I got you! He’s living in a fuckin’ shack, I thought he was an adult!” Phil took his hat off just to run his hands through his hair, clearly stressed.

“And he’s enjoying his shack! Look at ‘im! He’s got pets there, he’s fine.” Techno waved it off.

“We don’t know that. He’s so goddamn polite, he could be suffering and he wouldn’t say anything! You know that.”

Techno sighed. “So what do you want to do? We’re war criminals, Phil, I don’t know if legal adoption is an option.”

“I don’t have to adopt him, but... I mean, he’s a kid, he should be living with a family, Techno.”

“Heh? Abandon my perfectly fine cottage? My perfect real estate?” Techno sputtered, gesturing vaguely around the house. 

“We don’t have to abandon it! Give him a room!”

“I am not having another raccoon in my basement, Philza Minecraft.” He stated.

“I don’t want him in the basement either! We could add onto the house!”

Techno stared at Phil in tired, defeated silence. “You’re not gonna let this go, are you.”

“Nope.”

“You’re gonna force me to let this happen, aren’t you.”

“Yknow, I _am_ your father-“

Techno sighed. “Fiiiiine. Adopt another sad child. At least this one’s polite.”

Phil grinned. “I’ll get plans going and show them to you by tomorrow. Don’t tell Ranboo.”

“What, you want it to be a fun little surprise?” Techno chuckled and rolled his eyes, finally leaning back in his chair.

“When do you think was the last time that kid got a gift?”

“...Fair point, I won’t say anythin’.”

~

“Ranboo, how tall are you?” Phil asked, vaguely attempting to sound casual.

“Uhh. I’m not sure? I’m taller than Ghostbur, so-and inch or two taller than that? Why?” Ranboo tried to do the math, but he wasn’t entirely sure on any of the numbers.

“Just wonderin’ since you’re sixteen and a fuckin’ giant.” Phil waved it off, not yet wanting to explain that he had to make Ranboo’s room tall enough for him. He could fit into the rest of the house, sure, but not comfortably-the boy seemed to be constantly slouching.

(Ranboo slouched so he seemed less intimidating, but Phil didn’t know that, and would probably make fun of him if he did.)

“Ha, yeah. I’m just hoping I don’t grow past this.” Ranboo played this his own hair nervously-not exactly consciously. Neither Phil nor Techno mentioned the fidgeting, thankfully.

Edward said something from his in Enderspeak from his boat, translating vaguely to “You should be taller, have pride in your heritage, young man.” 

Ranboo didn’t respond to the scolding from his elder, though Phil chuckled, apparently understanding what was said.

“You’re not allowed to grow. I have the right to manually make you shorter if you do.” Techno pointed his axe at Ranboo lazily, not really trying to threaten the kid. Techno was always at least a little bit threatening, whether he liked it or not.

“I’ll try not to.” Ranboo chuckled.

“You intimidated by him, mate?” Phil joked. 

Techno changed positions, pointing his axe at Phil. “I’m not intimidated by anyone, but he’s already taller than me by an alarming degree.”

“Sorry. Enderman genes.” Ranboo commented. Edward said something else about Ranboo being proud of his family, though Ranboo stopped listening.

Techno put the axe down, focusing back on Ranboo. “Enderman and uhhhhh. What else are ya?”

“I have no idea! I only know the Enderman part because of the noises and silk touch thing. It’s a mystery, even to me!”

“Oh that’s horrible, mate.” Phil commented, seemingly genuinely sorry and concerned for the boy. Well, Ranboo couldn’t have that.

“No, it’s fine! I-yknow its a fun surprise, a mystery to unfold.”

“He’ll learn about his family at the end of his character arc and it’ll fuel him for his final battle.” Techno narrated.

“Ah, of course-like a true main character.” Phil responded, chuckling.

“I’ll be long dead by then but I’ll be watching in spirit, as your old mentor.” 

They all laughed at that, the concept of Ranboo being the main character in a story. It was fairly fitting, all things considered.

~

Within the next few days, it looked like Phil and Techno had began construction on the house. It took another few days for Ranboo to finally ask about it.

He’s walked up to Phil working, asking, “What uh-What’re you doing? With this?”

Phil answered easily. “We’re moving the villagers up here. Just to make ‘em easier to get to, my old bones don’t do well with going up and down the ladder.” He figured Ranboo would ask questions, and had an excuse ready. This had to be a _surprise._

“Oh. That makes sense.” Ranboo shrugged. That added up. It would make it easier for him to access the villagers, too. “Let me know if I can help at all!”

“Thanks, mate.” He wouldn’t be asking the kid for help to build his own room. Sure, the higher roof would be a pain to deal with, but he had a ladder, and Technoblade.

Ranboo walked off, leaving Phil to work, since he didn’t ask for help. 

~ 

Techno and Phil didn’t tend to have visitors, other than Ranboo-though Ranboo was there enough that he may as well lived there.

That’s why it was a bit of a surprise when he walked into the cottage to see Phil talking to _the warden of the local prison._ He was a little bit concerned that maybe this was how he gets caught, they found out about the community house, or the tnt, or-

“Hey Ranboo!” Sam waved with a smile, his and Phil’s conversation being on hold. 

“Hi.” Ranboo replied quickly. “Am i interupting something, should i go?”

“Nah, you’re fine! We’re just catching up.” Sam answered. Phil gestured for Ranboo to sit down. Ranboo didn’t know what to do, so he just obeyed.

“How are you, uh...” Ranboo trailed off, realizing that he didn’t remember the man’s name. They hadn’t spoken much, but it still felt wildly embarrassing.

“Sam. I’m good! How are you, Ranboo?” 

Ranboo wasn’t entirely used to small-talk after so long with Phil and Techno. “Thank you-I’m uh, I’m good!”

“You like living out here with Techno and Phil? I didn’t even know you were out here until Phil told me.”

“Yeah, I uh-I don’t really tell people, just so they don’t... target me or either of them. I like it out here, though.” Ranboo nodded.

“Your secret’s safe with me. Are you sure you don’t have family that you’re missing, though?”

“I mean... no? But I don’t remember them, so. I guess i’m here!” Ranboo chuckled nervously. 

Phil and Sam exchanged a look, Phil quickly changing the subject. “Sam was just here to... give me some advice. Did you need something, Ranboo?” 

Ranboo paused, realizing that he wasn’t entirely sure. “Oh, uh... I don’t think I did? Just wanted to see if you needed help with anything.”

“I don’t think I do. Techno’s at his turtle farm, if you wanna ask ‘im.” Phil gave a polite smile. Ranboo wasn’t great with social cues, but he figured that it was Phil’s way of telling him to go away.

That’s fine. Ranboo was fairly used to being told to go away, or getting left alone. He appreciated that Phil was kind about it, though.

~

Phil and Techno were speaking in hushed tones when Ranboo walked into the cottage. It made him want to immediately turn around and walk out. That room they were working on was most of the way done, the new doorway now being covered by a sheet. He didn’t really want to guess why that was.

“Ranboo! Great timing.” Phil turned to him suddenly, startling the boy just slightly. “Techno was just talkin’ about how he wants to do your hair.”

“Well we didn’t agree to me-“ Techno started.

Phil cut him off, only looking at Ranboo. “Mate, how would you feel about one of us braiding your hair? Your hair’s long enough for a small one like I’ve got.”

Ranboo paused, slightly stunned. “Oh! I uh-I thought that was a family thing for you guys.”

“Well-hey what the fuck, how’d you figure that out?” Phil questioned.

“I mean, you two have them, and Tommy had one last time I saw him, and I know you three are... related? I’m not sure on the relation.” Ranboo counted the three out on his fingers. 

Phil waved off the end part. “It’s a long story. It is a family thing, though.”

“So Wilbur _did_ have one? I thought so but I couldn’t tell from the-“

“He’s avoidin’ the question, Phil, he’s deflecting, you have to disown him.” Techno pointed out.

Ranboo panicked, hurrying to shake his head, “No! That’s not-I’m not saying no, I just-Yknow you guys are such a tight-knit family and I don’t want to intrude on that, I’m just some kid I’m not-“ Ranboo rambled, gesturing vaguely to try and get out some of his panicked energy.

“Calm down, mate. Techno and I were talking about it and we agreed that you’re family.” Phil promised kindly.

“Are you sure? I just-haven’t had a family in a while, I guess-oh god, that sounds _so_ guilt-trippy, I didn’t mean-“

Techno cut him off. “Kid, you can say no, but if you don’t stop talkin’, I will lose it.” 

“I-yes, I would be okay with that. The braid.” Ranboo stated, finally. Phil smiled.

“Just one on the side like I have, I think. You can upgrade to one of the fuckin’ obnoxious ones like Techno’s got if you grow your hair out.”

“Hey, my hair’s very cool.” Techno argued.

“It’s bright pink, mate. At least Ranboo’s would look cool with the colors mixing.” 

Techno rolled his eyes. “Just braid the kid’s hair, old man.”

Phil laughed at him, but listened to him anyway, having to get Ranboo to sit on the floor so the poor man could actually reach the kid’s hair. 

It felt like a ceremony. Ranboo could braid his own hair, sure-he’d have to rebraid the small plait later, or he even could’ve done it before this. But having Phil braid his hair felt special, like a ritual.

The braid fell just to the side, just like Phil’s, though his hair wasn’t quite as long.

Ranboo smiled. And if Techno saw tears fall-which he probably did-he didn’t say anything about it.

~

“Ranboo, mate, come inside!” Phil waved down Ranboo from just outside the house. Ranboo immediately perked up, following the directions.

“C’mere, Techno and I got somethin’ to show ya.” Phil beckoned him all the way inside, and outside the new room they’d been working on. Techno was already there, a small smile on the man’s face.

Ranboo smiled, a little bit confused. “Oh! You uh-you guys finished the villager room! Very cool.” 

“Not exactly.” Techno commented.

“Ranboo, look. You’re a teenager. You’re fuckin’ sixteen, for christ’s sake. You shouldn’t be living in a shack.” Phil began to explain.

“Well I-there’s a basement room now, so. It’s not really just the shack anymore!”

“Kid. You shouldn’t be living alone. You should be living with a family, especially with all the shit you’ve been through. So... Here’s an offering.” Phil opened the door.

Ranboo almost started crying, immediately.

It was a bedroom. Apparently someone in the house knew something about interior design, because it looked nice! They stuck to black and white, of course, that being Ranboo’s whole schtick. The room looked nice, and welcoming, and _warm._ Like care was put into it, like it was the bedroom of a normal teenager with a normal family.

“I-You can’t be serious.” Was all Ranboo could really say.

“We had to get Sam in here. He’s got more experience with kids nowadays, since he’s with fuckin Tommy and Tubbo constantly.” Phil chuckled. That explained why Sam was actually there before.

“If ya don’t want it, we’ll give it to the basement villagers.” Techno added. “They don’t deserve it though.”

“This is... you didn’t have to do this, I don’t deserve this, I’ve never had anyone put this much thought into something, this is so nice I just-“ Ranboo started rambling, overwhelmed. It’s just what happened when there were too many emotions.

“Do you wanna move in or not, bud.” Techno asked bluntly.

The blunt question actually helped. “Yes! Yes, I-I do. Thank you.” 

“Welcome to the family.” Techno grinned, putting his arms out welcomingly.

And Ranboo felt welcomed.


End file.
